The Coaches’ View

DJ Mitsch interviewed with Rick Smith, Editor of WRAL Local Tech Wire, one of the leading newswires in the Triangle. She talked about her different coaching techniques and how she works with a variety of individuals and companies on leadership and teambuilding.
Click image to watch video.

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This entry was created by by DJ Mitsch, MCC (left) and our
newest affiliate coach, Julie Murray (right).

“Archetypes are the symbolic language of the intuitive self,” according to Dr. Carolyn Myss, author of the best selling Sacred Contracts. Archetypal language provides a way for our coaches to dialogue about areas our clients can work, in an imaginative, non-threatening manner which inspires them to access deeper aspects of themselves. If clients better understand their “core” archetypes, there is the possibility of illuminating the impact and the subconscious influence they have on their perceptions of the world.

We have begun working with Archetypes as we search for new ways to serve our clients, and one of our favorites to introduce to powerful female clients is “The Queen.” Perhaps we are most intrigued by this role executive women often play as she is one of our core types.

According to Dr. Myss, the Queen symbolically represents power and authority in women who rule over anything from a company, a division, a government, or the home. She is a representation of emotional power and at her best can create worlds of opportunities for her domains. At her worst, she can slip into destructive patterns when her authority or control is challenged.

So if your friends give you greeting cards about being a queen, if you personally claim to be one, or if you manage one, here’s what you should know:

Queen Archetype
What you wanted to know about a Queen but were afraid to ask…

• The Queen archetype is both respected and resented. There are those that look to the Queen to lead, while others simply accommodate or resent the Queen’s capabilities and unspoken authority.
• As Queen, some duties are granted to us by others; however, we will not hesitate to take charge and appoint ourselves. We gain strength from leading and often take charge when facing challenges or threats. All is well when we are contributing, and life is smooth for those whom we love and are responsible for.
• Unrest occurs when we are not the only sovereign type present or when there is dissent among followers. Although we naturally assume a leadership role, others need to be heard and recognized, and we are better served by allowing others to voice their ideas and opinions before we make decisions that impact a group.
• Being Queen defines our interactions and relationships. Since we assume that our word is authority, we can be blind to the notion that we need to meet others halfway. We are open to ideas and will listen, but prefer others respect our position and make suggestions rather than demands.
• At times, it is exhausting being the Queen. We often feel we are thinking and acting for everyone around us. We cannot falter or show weakness, we must continually shoulder responsibility. We may silently wish for someone to remove the pressure and briefly “rescue” us. Once this happens, we are renewed and have the strength to take charge and rule again. If only we could understand that others are willing to help. By accepting their assistance, we do not diminish our authority.
• A Queen’s natural tendency to rule may overshadow all. Ultimately we must remember that it is not the position that makes us strong, but rather our ability to partner with others, leveraging the strengths of an entire court.
• If we become the queen mother, look out. As the official matriarch, we will become mother of all queens, literally inviting and attracting a brood of others like us. The fun begins as we are thrown into a mirrored pool of queens, and we must be mindful not to harshly judge, remembering that it is easier to see our own faults in those most like us!
• The queen will follow others who are effective and wise leaders, but will be choosy about trailing only those whom she respects and with whom she aligns!
• If you relate to any of this, nodding in agreement, and might be the masculine sovereign, “king,” then stay tuned for a contribution about your type.

Please visit the PRG Blog for more information about the language of archetypes and the roles we play! We will regularly contribute articles about what we are learning and how this artful language can give you insights into managing self and others!

Are you asking “what’s next?” Others want you to go for a new position in the company? You want a new challenge? Your significant relations want you to use the talents they see buried?

I have learned that we live our lives in three phases of consciousness. Understanding where you are gives you a key to knowing what to do next.

Think about where you are relative to these three levels:

• What “They” Want (At this level we respond to what others want from us and for us - - parents, schools, first bosses, companies, friends.)
• What “I” Want (What we see and do to individuate, to become unique contributors, to break out and live according to our own wishes – to go for the big job, get married, start a family, start a business, ask for a promotion.)
• What “Wants” Me (A passionate calling that we cannot ignore, something compelling us to move, even if we cannot envision the end result)

OK, So what to do? Consider these ideas and questions:

1. Stay where you are and recreate your current position through requests with your leadership so that it meets your personal and creative needs at this time. Ask yourself, “If I stay, what would need to change to make this job more meaningful and to contribute?”
2. If your loyalty was only to yourself, what would you change today? Is it time to shift to the “What I Want” phase and clarify that for yourself and others?
3. Is the idea of a new position causing you to rethink your entire career path and line up of responsibilities? Can you give a voice to the inkling that is causing you to stir emotionally? Is it time to listen to your heart and take a leap of faith?

Sometimes living with the questions will surface your best answers.

By D.J. Mitsch