By Marcia Reynolds, PsyD, MCC
This article is one in a series based on the 2007 study by Marcia Reynolds that focuses on high-achieving women in the workplace under 52 years of age.
My mother grew up in a generation where doors were just opening for women to work their way into respected positions in corporations. Some of them blew these doors open. Others were just able to peek through the doors and see the other side. Yet if they tried to step through, someone reminded them that the world beyond was not a “woman’s world.”
As a result, many women remained in their “place,” as my mother did. Or they blazed trails on their own proving what a woman could do, but because they had little emotional support and mentoring, they secretly worried that they would not be able to live up to expectations. They often felt like imposters if they did break through, causing researchers to label the Imposter Phenomenon theirs alone in the early 1980s and 1990s.There has been a drastic shift in past two decades around what it takes to become a high-achieving woman. To understand what these women need, let’s look at what helped to ignite their energy and their confidence.
“I Can Fly” Phenomenon
High-achieving women under the age of 52 belong to a generation brought up to believe they could do anything they put their minds to. According the survey results of this study, over 60% of the women had at least one person in their lives who told them they could do anything.
“My stepfather absolutely supported me. He’d say, ‘You’re the smartest girl in the world, you don’t need to hang out with these losers.”
“Looking back, I had an entire support system that acted as life cheerleaders encouraging me and my dreams. This list includes my mom, dad, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and friends.”
Outside of the home, as children of the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s, these women were raised on the budding self-help movement that spawned the popularity of words such as “empowerment” and “abundance” and where talking about “me” was more than tolerated, it was expected. (Twenge, 2006) Someone, a family member, sports coach or teacher, taught them that they were truly the masters of their destiny and they have the power to create whatever they desire. These women belong to a generation brought up to believe they could do anything they put their minds to. And, since this generation experienced the proliferation of competitive sports for women, many of them had their self-confidence enhanced by successfully competing in sports in and outside of school.
Armed with a sturdy self-esteem and a belief that they could contribute to any organization they chose to work for, they found career success early, often from the start. Many of them moved into management positions within the first two years of working. And, although a number of the women interviewed said they loved their self-sufficient single lifestyle, those that were married described their husbands as actively supportive of their careers, not merely tolerant of them. Out of the total population of the study, 95% of the women married or living with someone made more or the same amount of money as their partners. Although this could also mean that some may be carrying the financial lode, this often affords them outside help with the household and often, they share the responsibilities of both motherhood and maintaining the household with their mates.
As a result, this generation of high achieving women displays extreme self confidence and rarely worries about showing weakness. The only time they are concerned about not meeting a goal is after they accept a project, but even these feelings of overwhelm and doubt are fleeting. They are persistent, figuring out ways to bypass any “no” they are given. They get what they want and deserve, but not out of gratuitous entitlement; they work hard to get the recognition they feel is their right to be given.
Therefore, the results of this study suggest that high-achieving women would benefit from a different type of guidance than they have been offered in the past. For one, the women could use career planning focused on helping them develop a strategic perspective for their advancement so they quit making emotional decisions when choosing to accept or leave a job. Yet most importantly, as they learn how to articulate a purpose they can align their energies to, they would benefit from:
1) having a coach who can help them with sorting out “who” they are as they make important personal transitions, and
2) participating in group coaching with other high-achieving women with similar desires and goals.
These two elements will help these women maximize their potential while enjoying the process.
For more information on coaching programs for high-achieving women, contact DJ or Barry Mitsch at info@pyramidresource.com
