This is the fourth installment contributed by Coach Doug Silsbee. The following is adapted from Presence-Based Coaching, Doug’s new book coming this Fall.
A client was recently challenged on a project. My client was conflict averse, and strongly tended to keep people around, hoping that they’d turn around. He was struggling with a key management hire that wasn’t working out. His new hire was not moving fast enough on a key element of the project; frustration was building in others.
During this struggle, my client directed his attention to the value he placed both on having a high performing team, and to the significant contribution that this project stood to make. While he was uncomfortable with letting his new manager go, he recognized that the manager was never going to contribute at the level that was needed, and the entire team and project were struggling as a result. His connection to the value he placed on the team and the goals of the project placed the personnel decision into a larger context.
With this new context, my client recognized that it was time to make the change. In fact, the conversation came as a relief to the manager, who had felt a bit like a drowning man with few options. They were able to work out an equitable solution with mutual respect.
Experiment with this. Consider a current situation that’s confusing to you. For the sake of practice, don’t pick a major moral crisis or breakdown!
Simply choose a decision that you face that feels complicated. Pause and identify this situation….
Now, remember what’s important to you in the situation. Consider what values are at stake, and what values are represented by each of the possible options in the situation. Consider how the decision that you make right now is, in fact, an opportunity to live those values. Consider how you might look back from a year out on this decision, and how you might view yourself with hindsight if you choose A, and if you choose B.
