The Coaches’ View

The most recent edition of Training and Development Magazine (December 2007) includes an article by Steve Gladis entitled “Executive Coaching Builds Steam in Organizations.”  Gladis references a study conducted by the Manchester Group that showed a 5:1 return on investment ratio for coaching. He further sites a report in Public Personnel Management that compared training alone to training combined with coaching.  Training alone increased productivity by 22 percent but when combined with coaching, the impact increased to 88 percent.

Our own experience supports these findings.  In 2001, The Pyramid Resource Group took part in one of the original return on investment studies for coaching.  An independent researcher surveyed over 40 professionals from a Fortune 500 company that were part of an ongoing coaching initiative targeted at the company’s top talent pool.  The study showed coaching produced a 529% return on investment and significant intangible benefits to the business.  If the financial benefits from employee retention were included, the overall ROI rose to 788%. 

We have always felt that coaching is one of the most powerful and efficient leadership development tools available.  Fortunately, more and more investigators are validating this feeling with quantitative research.

“Thank You” is what we say to someone who gives us something, “Gratitude” is what we say to Life! Julio Olallah, MCC and President, The Newfield Network

We have just celebrated our favorite holiday of the year as the gifts are creations of food and laughter and the experience of grace. These are easy gifts for most to give and receive, as the only personal costs are our presence and attention. As you prepare for the season of Light and gift giving, consider this - - it is equally important that you are ready to receive. Here are some coach musings to live on your shoulder while you take some time to reflect on the year or prepare for 2008.

On Giving - -

Perhaps this is the year to awaken early over the holidays to something deeper inside of you.

Give yourself the treat of greeting the dawn around 5AM for something other than the latest sales, at least one morning over the holidays, alone or with someone special. Listen to the world as she wakes. Sit and find that precious still point, asking one or more of these questions to create an inner conversation for discovery or a dialogue with some who cares about you:

o “What is in my heart to give others this year?”
o “How have I loved more?”
o “How do my gifts - - material and talents - - impact the world in some way?
o “What resources am I committed to giving to others as a result of all that I have?”
o “If I created a giving circle of others like me, what could we change?”
o “What is irritating enough to me to exact a change, personally or socially?”
o “What is calling to me now?”
o “What do ‘they’ really need or want in the world, that only I can give?”

On Receiving - -

Waiting for answers requires silence and observation.

Waiting for something is the lesson and promise in most parables or holiday stories. It is why we wrap packages and put them under the tree, or string out the presents, one for each day of the festival. We create the anticipation of an exchange, a perfect gift.

But I find it is rare that people consider holding the intention for what they most want to receive and rare again to witness them opening their hearts to the full and amazing grace waiting to be expressed. When we allow others the joy of giving, we are blessed twice - - first in the experience of the opening of our hearts and second in sharing the purest joy others feel as they give.

As you consider this season, take a time out for you, alone. Take a bike ride or a long walk, soak in a tub, sit on your bed, turn off the TV for a day or two. And when you do take time for yourself, consider these questions:

• “Am I ready to receive all the love I was meant to receive?”
• “How have I learned from even those tough conversations and impatient people in my life?”
• “What am I ready to surrender or give up?”
• “What is calling me, nudging me to respond?”
• “How have I received more LOVE this year?”
• “For what am I most grateful?”
• “Can I pay attention to those quiet whispers and inner stirrings now?”
• “What am I so ready to receive more of in my life?”
• “What is enough?”

Email any awakenings or Ah-Has to dj@pyramidresource.com. We love to hear from you!

[Notes: Pyramid Coaches DJ Mitsch and Marcia Reynolds are past presidents of the International Coach Federation, the first and largest professional association for the coaching industry. Marcia attended last week’s international conference in San Jose, CA and filed this report]

As I walked up the steps of the conference center, I felt something was wrong. There wasn’t the whirlwind of chaotic energy like years gone by. When the ICF was young and we were a part of creating this organization to support the phenomenon called “coaching,” the conference hummed with our excitement.

Within minutes, I discovered what had happened. The ICF has truly grown up. There was an air of professionalism demonstrating that coaching has gone from a wonderful idea into not just a profession, but a global industry. I missed the old days where it was a love fest of old and new friends. Yet I was proud to see the evidence that the world is taking coaching seriously. Now, we can really do the work we intended.

The next three days were filled with amazing keynote speakers and thought provoking sessions. The speakers not only engaged us to think about what first inspired us to be coaches to revive our passion, they put our work in the context of how we can impact the world. They gave us insight into the women who are surviving wars to the companies who are mastering innovation. And behind the scenes of these victories are coaches working with the leaders of our non-profit as well as for profit organizations, and even our governments.

I heard about good sessions on marketing techniques and coaching skills with fabulous demonstrations. I attended a fascinating session that explored the coach’s perception of failure and how that could impact coaching with a client facing difficulties. And there was also a wonderful “play” session where we participated in improv exercises that helped us explore emotional expression. And Pyramid’s own Harriett Simon Salinger led a beautiful session on Silence.

The ICF is not what it used to be. I am sad, proud, hopeful and grateful for this. And I hope to see you next year at the conference in Montreal.

By DJ Mitsch

The Universal Law of “Attraction” which is the basis of The Secret,  a NY Times best seller by Rhonda Byrnes, really isn’t a secret and it is foundational for coaches. It is a law of physics – like attracts like – and has been experienced by humans, consciously and unconsciously throughout our history. The thing that makes this “news” is that as we all become more conscious, the idea that we have attracted our circumstances, especially the stresses in our lives, is confronting. It gives us reason to pause and take stock of what exists in our space that we don’t want, and what is missing that we do want. We tend to spend a lot of time focused on the missing parts - - thinking stinking thoughts. That simple focus gives us more of what’s missing - - after all, it is a law of physics.

Marci Shimoff, author and speaker who contributed to the book and movie, The Secret and wrote Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul was our featured speaker for the Raleigh October Chamber luncheon yesterday. Her challenge to each of the 340 participants was take a new action as a result of the time together. Marci was entertaining and her content hit the mark to remind me about the power of my thoughts and intentions. My message from the speech was the importance of visualizing what I want my life to look like.

Like many women, I tend to over commit my time and energy. I love life and I enjoy an abundance of friends, a company of genuine and masterful colleagues, and a host of clients who challenge me to grow and create. I am a mother of two teenagers which is also a full time job as you parents know. And, I am writing two books. So, it easy to feel pulled in a million different directions. Focus is important, but so is variety for me and inclusion of all of these aspects of who I am. This was an important reminder and it is easy to forget to employ the principles of coaching in our own lives and businesses sometimes.

Marci reminded me to focus on – visualize or imagine – what I want to create. So this weekend I am going to cut and paste pictures on a poster board that capture the essence of what I want to experience now. My life is so dynamic, that by the time I write a business plan as I used to do in corporations, it is out of date. So I have a shopping mall model (I have a black belt in shopping, so this works best for me as a visual) complete with anchor tenants (favorite larger clients) and colorful smaller businesses and individuals populating the spaces.

This weekend I am recreating the mall, pasting the pictures and filling in the specifics in a way that is fun, creative and inspiring to me. I am going to write the amount of money I want the company to generate and my personal salary as a result. I am going to write the details of how and who will publish my books and who will read them. I am going to count my amazing blessings. This will be the business plan for 2008. I’ll let you know how it is going - - and what gets included, accomplished and falls away this year, and why. In the meantime, perhaps it is time for you to cut and paste and imagine!

If you want to become irresistibly attractive and need a partner to help you determine how –give us a call! That’s our specialty and the basis for every coaching engagement.

Since I am the chair of the Chamber’s Executive Women’s Series, I also want to invite you to join us on January 16th when we talk about women and their relationship to money with our speaker, Beth Gamel! Come learn to feed your piggy bank, enjoy some yummy food and great connections with the area’s fabulous business women!

Through our recent educational focus, we have learned that there are 12 archetypes at work for any individual. Within those 12, there are 4 that are necessary to our survival that we all share: The Child, the Prostitute, the Saboteur, and the Victim. Sound odd, even controversial? Maybe - until you dig deeper to understand how they can be serving you – or not. For this conversation, let me illustrate how the Victim is at work in our lives.

Like all archetypes, there is a strength and benefit to the victim as well as a shadow side, which, when engaged, drains us of our power.

When your awareness of the victim is properly engaged, you are able to recognize potential situations where you could be victimized, therefore not putting yourself in a place or mindset to allow this to happen. Also through this awareness, you recognize when you might actually be on the path to victimizing someone else for your own personal gain. In these cases, your victim archetype is contributing to a healthy self and healthy relationship with others

But what happens when the shadow side of the victim is allowed to run rampant in one’s life? Do any of these sound familiar?

-Placing blame on others or circumstances.
-Stuck – can’t move forward. Often wallowing in self-pity.
-Feeling more powerless than powerful.
-When around someone who is playing the victim, it can drain your energy too!

What could we possibility be getting out giving in to the shadow side of the victim?

Sympathy, attention, avoidance of responsibility, avoidance of action.

How can we move out of the shadow victim conversation? Take responsibility for all that has happened. Now, you may say that’s really not totally true – and it may not be. But is staying where we are serving us? No. And until we accept responsibility, we cannot take back our power we have given away by passing the blame. It doesn’t really matter who is right or wrong. What matters is we see our own accountability – and in that reclaim the power to make something happen. We are meant to learn how to handle challenges and face our fears!

Bobby is pro golfer and CBS commentator, allowing Marianna a lot of time to observe high performance behaviors!

Anyone watching the end of the 2007 British Open and the interviews afterwards witnessed the ultimate breakdown and victim conversation. As Melanie Hauser, of PGATour.com says “On the day when he could have defined his career, Sergio Garcia fell victim. To Carnoustie Golf Links. To Padraig Harrington. And to himself.”

Consider the following press after Sergio conceded his 3 round lead of the Open to Padraig Harrington:

“Sergio Garcia, who came on the golf scene at the 1999 PGA Championship and threatened to defeat Tiger Woods, has been labeled the future of European golf (not to mention the heir-apparent to Seve Ballesteros and the as-yet-unfulfilled promise of being Woods’ main rival). And through all the tantrums, meltdowns, thrown clubs and spitting spats, Garcia has always seemed to come up short. Rather, it seems Garcia has gladly allowed countryman Miguel Angel Jimenez to carry the flag for Spanish golf while instead he chases skirts in Canada.” Worldgolf.com blog

“Sergio did not handle himself well after he melted………..three separate times he blamed the fields crew that had to rake the traps before he could finish the 18th hole, and said it delayed him for over 15 minutes. That is garbage”. Golfchannel.com

“Every time I get in this position, I never have any room for error,” Garcia said. “I should write a book on how not to miss a shot and not win a playoff. You know what’s the saddest thing about it? It’s not the first time. It’s not the first time, unfortunately,” Garcia said. “I don’t know. I’m playing against a lot of guys out there, more than the field.” Sports.espn.go.com

The shadow side of victim archetype is strongly at play in Sergio’s attitude and comments. As you can see, he is looking to attribute blame outside of himself. The result is giving in to a self-defeating game of blame, which dims the possibility of harnessing discipline and one’s own attitude towards positive action and motivation. He is giving away his own power to take responsibility and make a difference. Can a PGA player win a major without reining in the victim conversation? Probably not – and neither will any of us be playing our own ‘A’ game if we let the shadow victim take control.

We are continuing our work with Jim Curtan, Spiritual Director for our coaches and our company around the artful language of archetypes. We are doing this to help our clients better understand their personality blueprints and why they habitually act or react to others. It is a lighter approach to having people look at their ego self and know when to employ the right character for the role they need to play, the lead they need to take in their lives or with others! We first introduced the Queen in earlier submissions to the blog. Now we invite you to meet the King.

Everything you NEED to know about the King, but were afraid to ask!

• The King represents sovereign male power and authority – associated with both cruelty and benevolence, as interpreted by Carolyn Myss. We either love them or hate them.
• The King is typically born with this ego/personality, displaying these characteristics early in life, at play, in sports competition, and later at work:
  1. A sense of entitlement
  2. Lifetime need to rule or control (games, environments, communities, companies)
  3. Can be a great leader that others gladly follow, sensing he will care for them and is sensitive to the needs of many.
  4. Impatient with those who seem needy or demanding
  5. Takes charge even if not appointed
  6. Does not like to be challenged unless prepared
• The benevolent or enlightened King is masterful, creating the space for others to truly shine, acknowledging them or challenging them to be great.
• The King is typically not happy bowing to a Queen, and may be paradoxically attracted to and repelled by the Queen’s energy or power. You may see this play out in corporate kingdoms, particularly in meetings where the queen will keep her silence if she feels it threatens the King in charge. Conversely, if the Queen is in charge, you may see the King dismiss her value, often sparring to take control of the conversation if he feels it will serve him. This is a political dance and can be humorous as you gain or maintain perspective about when this part of your personality (or their personality) is at play.
• His reactions may include:
  1. Dismissive when other’s don’t follow his lead
  2. Can have a short fuse or temperament if he is also a competitor or perfectionist
  3. Can become the High Chair Tyrant if his needs are not met by those around him.

Learning to Live or Work with a King?
1. Expect to follow his strong lead, look for the enlightened leader within, the role he plays when he is at his best and then endorse him for what he does well in the leadership role. Remember it is lonely being the King.
2. Be Loyal – the King rewards loyalty
3. Remember to develop your own perspective, realizing the only power anyone has over you is what you give them… so choose carefully whom you follow without question, even the King.
4. If this ruler “Has No Clothes” - - be of service by holding a reflective conversation, mirroring back what you observe in the form of inklings or the impact he has on you and others. Make specific requests for what you want him to discuss or do differently with you.
5. Empower him to share his wisdom and his ideas. Make him your mentor.

Think Charleton Heston as Moses and you have an image of the King archetype, both servant and leader, strength and benevolence.

Stay tuned in. We will introduce you to the “Victim” role we all play soon. This is a critical characteristic or archetype we all share and it shows up daily in our coaching conversations with all of our clients, executives, top talent and the front line.

Decisions are 90% emotional no matter how logical we think we are. We are much better at rationalizing our decisions that we made with emotions than thinking all the options through in the first place. Therefore, it is important to have tools and processes to help us make choices. Below are the four of the most common questions I ask my coaching clients about decision making:

1. What do you need to know (information about the past, present, and future) before you can make a wise decision?

2. Who do you know has made this type of decision in the past? They might provide some perspective and insight you do not have.

3. Why is it so hard for you to decide? What do you feel is at stake, really? Do you fear something intangible, such as a loss of control? What is the worst that would happen if you are wrong? Are you afraid of embarrassment, that people will question your competence? Are you procrastinating because you believe something could be better around the corner? Get the truth out on the table so you can factor this into your decision-making.

4. If there were no consequences for your decision, what would you choose? Know that this choice will haunt you if you decide against it. You may need to seek a compromise you haven’t yet considered.

You definitely want to put a deadline on yourself for making a decision. However, be sure to give your brain some processing time. Great solutions come when you are taking a shower, playing a sport, or distracted by something you love. This gives your brain time to make connections that you cannot force by worrying and pondering. Let your wisdom bubble up. You might discover an answer you had not considered.

Are you asking “what’s next?” Others want you to go for a new position in the company? You want a new challenge? Your significant relations want you to use the talents they see buried?

I have learned that we live our lives in three phases of consciousness. Understanding where you are gives you a key to knowing what to do next.

Think about where you are relative to these three levels:

• What “They” Want (At this level we respond to what others want from us and for us - - parents, schools, first bosses, companies, friends.)
• What “I” Want (What we see and do to individuate, to become unique contributors, to break out and live according to our own wishes – to go for the big job, get married, start a family, start a business, ask for a promotion.)
• What “Wants” Me (A passionate calling that we cannot ignore, something compelling us to move, even if we cannot envision the end result)

OK, So what to do? Consider these ideas and questions:

1. Stay where you are and recreate your current position through requests with your leadership so that it meets your personal and creative needs at this time. Ask yourself, “If I stay, what would need to change to make this job more meaningful and to contribute?”
2. If your loyalty was only to yourself, what would you change today? Is it time to shift to the “What I Want” phase and clarify that for yourself and others?
3. Is the idea of a new position causing you to rethink your entire career path and line up of responsibilities? Can you give a voice to the inkling that is causing you to stir emotionally? Is it time to listen to your heart and take a leap of faith?

Sometimes living with the questions will surface your best answers.

By D.J. Mitsch

One of the most valuable features of coaching is the accountability built into the coaching relationship. If you say you’re going to do something and have to answer back to your coach, chances are it will get done. Competition also facilitates action, and we find that is a critical tool in our group coaching programs.

Recently, we put ourselves to the test using some accountability and competition. The Pyramid coaching team participated in the Be Active Challenge sponsored by North Carolina Amateur Sports.

The goal of the program is to promote healthy lifestyles through consciously increasing your physical activity over three-month period. We divided our coaches into three teams and tracked progress weekly. Even though we are geographically dispersed, our teams pulled together to help each other increase their exercise and alter some habits.

The competition was fierce and fun, and collectively we logged close to 2,000 hours of activity during the challenge. Most of our coaches wanted to continue the program after it ended, and we are looking at starting an “in-house” competition very soon.

Accountability is a key benefit to the coaching process and it helps maintain motivation towards making positive changes. As we saw with our own team, great things can happen when you set a goal and have to report back to a third party, be that a coach or your team.

Barry Mitsch